


The Twelve Days Of Christmas

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas, Hospitals, M/M, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-27 06:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: A bit of speculation about robron in December and Christmas, and how things will / could possibly unfold. Canon up to now is all still true (31st Oct), but it might diverge, depending on how long it takes me to write this!!





	1. On The First Day Of Christmas....

 

**On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a mad dash to A and E.**

* * *

Robert pitched forward. Aaron watched, almost in horrified slow motion as his body crumpled onto his stomach, the echo of the shot still ringing in Aaron’s ears. Every instinct in Aaron was begging him to run forward, to help Robert, to touch him at the very least, but Lachlan still had the gun and he clearly had more on his mind. Aaron getting himself shot wouldn’t help matters either. Aaron just didn't know what to do, every instinct was fighting with each other.

“Leave him to die!” Lachlan almost spat at Aaron, but all he could hear was his own racing heart, needing him to get Robert help. Lachlan turned and walked away so slowly, too slowly, leaving Robert bleeding on the gravel in front of the Mill. “Robert, look at me,” Aaron urged, grabbing for his phone in his pocket, desperately calling an ambulance. Robert’s eyes were open, but they looked slightly glassy. Aaron found the beating pulse in his neck, rapid and faint, but so reassuringly present. He relayed all the information to the operator before dropping his phone.

“…hurts…” Robert whispered, blood flecking on his lips.

“I know,” Aaron said, a hand on the back of his head, hoping it was reassuring. “I’m here. An ambulance is coming, you’ll be fine.” Aaron knew he was trying to convince himself more than Robert and looked down at the wound in Robert’s back. His jacket was wet through with blood, dark and dangerous even in the low light from the street lamp. He could lose him here. Aaron had never really considered the possibility before, not realistically, not in a very long time.

“Bad?” Robert asked.

“Well, you know,” Aaron said, trying for ease, trying to make it less serious. “You’ll make it. You always do.”

“I think… I’m going to pass out,” Robert said all in a rush, the words slurring.

“No, stay with me,” Aaron said, tugging Robert’s hair a little harder than he should. “Come on, I need you to stay conscious.”

“I’m dying…”

“No,” Aaron said stubbornly. “You’re not, I won’t let you.”

“Stu…b… git,” Robert panted. It was clear it was a struggle to stay awake for him now. Aaron’s hand slid around his neck, finding a chain. Aaron frowned, Robert didn’t wear jewellery, and now he had some kind of necklace on?

“…s yours,” Robert breathed, closing his eyes. The fight seemed to go out of him, and Aaron frantically kept his fingers on Robert’s pulse. It was still there, he was just unconscious, not… dead. He just needed to stay that way.

Aaron tugged on the chain around Robert’s neck, not all that surprised by this point to find Aaron’s own wedding ring on the end of it. Though he did feel so sad, that it had taken this. Aaron could hear the ambulance coming, and he made a split second decision that he didn’t over examine. He unclipped the chain and pulled it off, sliding it around his own neck. He didn’t put it on his finger, that felt wrong. He wanted Robert awake for that, not hanging on the precipice of life and death. But he’d be okay, he had to be.

“What’s happened?!” a paramedic called to him, rushing over.

“Shot in the back,” Aaron said, moving aside, but keeping a gentle hand on Robert’s head anyway. After everything they’d been through, it couldn’t end like this.

“Right, we’re going to take him to Hotten general, he’s going to need surgery,” the paramedic said, both of them quickly moving to get Robert on a stretcher. Aaron felt dimly aware of a police car coming into the village. He did not have the energy to spare to have a conversation with the police, despite several strangers trying to persuade him.

“No!” Aaron snapped. “He’s my husband, I’m going with him.”

“But…”

“Lachlan White shot him, I saw it!” Aaron said briefly. “Now, I’m going with my husband.”

No one else dared argue with him as he clambered in the back of the ambulance.

* * *

 

As soon as they got to the hospital, Robert was torn away from him. Rushed down to surgery, leaving Aaron empty and lonely in the waiting room. The chain with his own wedding ring on found it’s way clenched in Aaron’s right fist. Trying to hold on, trying to hold on to something, anything. He’d never got his shot at being happy with Robert. Not really. There was always something in the way, something that went wrong and ruined the tiny fraction of happy he’d got to hold onto.

The waiting room was slowly emptying out. It was late, and no one really wanted to be in a hospital waiting room if they had any choice about it, especially at Christmas. The clock took up one wall, and Aaron watched, focused completely on it as it slowly ticked closer to midnight, and then past it. Another brand new day, and no news on Robert. Was no news good news? If he’d died on the table, he’d surely have known by now. _No, don’t think that_ , Aaron told himself, clutching the ring tighter. He had to be okay. Because, take all the terrible situations, the disasters, all the ways two people could hurt each other, take that all away, and Aaron still loved him, with all the pieces of his broken shattered heart. And if Robert died right now, Aaron knew he would never make it out the other side.


	2. On The Second Day Of Christmas...

**On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, one night long vigil.**

* * *

 

It was four in the morning when the surgeon approached Aaron. He was tired and running on empty so it took a while for the doctors words to make any sense. “You removed…”

“His right kidney, yes,” the doctor said patiently, repeating himself.

“He’s going to be all right, though,” Aaron said. That was really all he wanted to know. “Yeah?”

“Apart from the damage to his kidney, he suffered severe blood loss, but barring any complications, he should be just fine. We'll know more when he wakes up.”

“Good,” Aaron said, breathing out in relief. “I need to see him.”

“Of course.” Aaron followed him, quickly finding Robert laying down with an oxygen mask covering his face. He looked frail and ill and Aaron’s heart ached for him. Why did it take this?? Why did it take something so serious as being shot down for Aaron to see that some things… well, they just didn’t matter really, did they?

“Hey,” Aaron said, sitting down opposite him and taking his hand. “You never do things by halfs do you?” Aaron cleared his throat, torn between feeling stupid for talking to his unconscious husband, ex husband, whatever Robert was to him, and that he had to say all that he felt just in case Robert could hear him. And in case he didn’t get another chance. He would, obviously. But… just in case.

“You are an idiot,” Aaron said. Even if they never had any more drama, which they would, Aaron would always think that.

“Mr Dingle?” Aaron turned to see two police officers.

“What’re you doing here?” Aaron grunted, returning his gaze to Robert’s still face.

“We need a word. Confirmation on what happened.”

“You should be out catching that violent trigger happy kid,” Aaron said.

“He;s currently in custody,” the man said. “We just want your version of events.”

“I can talk, but I’m not leaving him,” Aaron said dully. The officers seemed to accept that, and Aaron turned to face them, still holding Robert’s hand.

“What happened?”

“I was talking to Robert, outside my house. The Mill, in the village,” Aaron said.

“About what?”

“He’s my husband, I need a reason?” Aaron asked levelly.

“We’ve heard you’re estranged,” the officer said. 

“Well, we kind of were,” Aaron said, eyes flicking back to Robert’s face. “We’re trying to work through it all, it’s just… complicated.” This was perfectly true, they had been on speaking terms, but Aaron hadn’t anticipated Lachlan to go out and shoot him.

“What were you talking to Lachlan White about?”

“He came up our driveway,” Aaron said. “I was… focusing on Robert, I didn’t see him with the gun until he shouted Robert’s name.”

“What did Mr White say?”

“He was ranting,” Aaron said. “Stuff about… Robert being a liar, manipulator. Kicking Lachlan out of his home, trying to wind up everyone.”

“Wind up everyone about what?”

“Where to start?” Aaron said, sighing. “Robert was married to Chrissie White. While they were engaged, he had an affair with her sister, Rebecca. Then when they were married, he had an affair with me. Fast forward a couple of years, Robert slept with his ex, Rebecca got pregnant, and she… gave birth last month. It’s a complicated messy history, and Robert was never going to be popular with that family.”

“Where did Lachlan get the gun?”

“No idea,” Aaron said.

“Mr Dingle, this sounds like it’s gone on for a while,” the policeman said. “Why now? What set Lachlan off?”

“I have no idea. The baby, Seb… Rebecca stopped Robert from seeing him.” Aaron needed to tread carefully around that particularly painful subject.

“Why?”

“Because she’s twisted and thinks the world revolves around her,” Aaron said bitterly. “Robert wanted to see his son.”

“How did you feel about that?”

“Not really much to do with me, is it?” Aaron sighed. “Things were getting tense. That’s all I know.”

“Okay,” he said, sensing Aaron wasn't up for much more. “We’ll be in touch.” They left, and Aaron returned to Robert’s face. He desperately wanted Robert to wake up, there was so much he had left to say.

Robert hadn’t thought Lachlan had it in him to shoot him. So he’d mocked him, and turned around to walk away. And that’d been when Lachlan had pulled the trigger, shooting him in the back. Too confident. Too sure of Lachlan’s behaviour. Aaron could see it, replaying under his eyelids and he hated it. To see that hatred on Lachlan's face as he pulled the trigger...

“Please, Robert,” Aaron said. “I’m not done. We’re not done yet. I need to tease you when you start going grey, don’t take that joy from me.” And Aaron waited.

* * *

 

“Oi.” Aaron jerked awake, his ankle having been kicked to see Liv looking at him. Aaron’s eyes went straight to Robert but it looked at first glance that there was no change.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked Liv, rubbing at his eyes.

“I heard,” Liv said. “Thanks for letting me know,” she added, sitting next to Aaron.

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “I panicked when the gun went off, and… yeah.” _All I could focus on was Robert,_ Aaron thought. Nothing else seemed to matter at the time.

“How is he?”

“They removed his kidney last night. But… I don’t really know, we’re waiting for him to wake up.”

“I… er… heard. About the baby.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said heavily. “We were having that exact argument yesterday.” Was it only yesterday?

“Is it really not his?” Liv asked.

“That’s the thing,” Aaron said slowly. “We don’t know. We only have Rebecca’s word, and she’s always said what… well, suited her at the time. She doesn’t want Robert seeing the baby, so it’s now convenient it’s Ross’s.”

“How can she do that?” Liv asked. “Lie about it. Because one of them’s a lie, they can't both be the dad.”

“I don’t even think she knows who it is,” Aaron said. “It doesn’t matter anyway, I just want him to wake up. So I can tell him what an idiot he is for turning his back on a psychotic teenager holding a shot gun.”

“It was Lachlan then?” Liv asked. “I’m hearing all sorts.”

“Yeah, I saw him,” Aaron said, ending that line of conversation. Aaron reached for his wallet and handed Liv a couple of notes. “Could you go and get me some breakfast?”

“I’m not a skivy!” Liv shouted indignantly. "And it's lunch anyway."

“You can keep the change,” Aaron said, making her change her mind quickly.

“You think he will wake up?” Liv asked, her voice wobbling a little.

“I hope so,” Aaron said. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t.”

“I’ll get some food,” Liv said quietly, and Aaron appreciated it. This waiting was torture.


	3. On The Third Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd written most of this before this weekends horrific pictures for next week were released. Oh joy. I'm feeling completely beaten down by this and don't know how much / when I'll write again, but this chapter only needed a paragraph to finish it off so I thought I'd share anyway. The Vic / Rebecca conversations are probably not going to be to everyone's tastes as a warning. Anyway, all that said. Hope you enjoy!

**On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three new visitors.**

* * *

“Hi.” Aaron looked up to see Chas, forcing a smile as she came into the hospital room. Aaron hugged her, feeling all the built up emotions of the last few days crashing over him in his mothers arms. He couldn’t help it. He pulled away from her, a little embarrassed, rubbing at his face.

“How is he?” Chas asked.

“No change,” Aaron said. “The er… doctors are getting a bit worried that he’s not woken up after his operation. They’re checking on him more often and… I know they’re worried.”

“He’ll wake up,” Chas said. “Robert is stubborn. He even beats you.”

“I know you don’t like him, mum,” Aaron said. “I know you think he’s the worst person for me, but… I love him. And… if I lose him…”

“Love, I understand,” Chas said, an arm around his shoulders, both of them looking at Robert. 

“I know loving him hurts, mum,” Aaron said, sighing deeply. “I’m not an idiot. But I don’t want to be without him, I need you to accept that.”

“I’ve not said anything against him,” Chas said. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Chas asked after the silence started to become uncomfortable. “The baby.”

“Mum, could you just not?”

“Look, we can’t not talk about it,” Chas said. “Get back with Robert, don’t get back with him, that’s your decision. But this… it’s something you’re going to have to deal with.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “What would you like me to do, I can’t wish him away, can I?”

“If Robert’s involved with…”

“Robert being involved with his son arguably has nothing to do with me,” Aaron cut her off.

“But seeing it’s going to be hard.” Aaron glared at her. That wasn’t helpful. “I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m just telling you it’s going to be hard.”

“Do you think it’d be any easier for me seeing Robert around the village with the baby, even if I’m not with him?” Aaron asked. That had been the point Aaron had continually thought over before even talking and trying to build bridges with Robert. He knew that seeing Robert with his son would hurt him, regardless of what was going on with their personal relationship. But arguably it could be worse, would feel worse for Aaron if he wasn’t with Robert when he desperately wanted to be. If he was excluded from that picture… well, Aaron had thought that was the more terrible option. When it came right down to it.

“It might not be his,” Aaron said.

“What?” Chas asked blankly.

“The baby,” Aaron said. “Rebecca’s changed her mind, saying Ross’s the father now. But… I think it’s just because right now she doesn’t like Robert too much and doesn’t want to see him. Doesn’t want him seeing Seb.”

“What, so she’s changed her mind?” Chas asked, bluntness coming into her voice.

“Mm, apparently,” Aaron said. He shook his head. “Anyway, I’d guess a DNA test will be coming soon. Robert was fighting with me on that before Lachlan turned up.”

“Why?” Chas asked. 

“He doesn’t want to know,” Aaron said. “I told him it was stupid not to find out when Rebecca’s lying. But Robert, he spent so long thinking… this was the worst thing to happen, that now he feels… I don’t know. Like it’d be… Oh, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“He wants the baby to be his?”

“I don’t think Robert wants to feel like he lost… like we lost so much time when all along he was being lied to.”

“Maybe he shouldn’t lie to other people,” Chas said. “Not so much fun when it happens to him.” Aaron didn’t argue. He couldn’t, it was true. Robert was a wind up, always trying to manipulate, lie and scheme to get his own way. It was hardly a surprise that he’d be unable to bear someone beating him at his own game. And with such an obvious lie too.

“I need to know,” Aaron said. “One way or the other. Or Robert could never come out of his coma, that’d solve things too.” Aaron had tried for flippant but his voice wobbled at the end.

“Aaron, he’ll wake up.”

“Will he?”

“Look, why don’t you go home, get some sleep, have a shower, eat, do something, and I’ll sit with him,” Chas suggested. “You look like you need some rest. I’ll call you if anything changes with him. Or I can get Vic to take a shift, whatever you like.” Aaron wanted to argue with her, but her logic was too strong. A shower and a sleep that wasn’t in a hospital chair would be great. Oh, and he needed his phone charger too.

“Okay,” Aaron said. The fact that he didn’t need persuasion told Chas how tired he was. “Call me if anything happens, good or bad.”

“I promise,” Chas said, hugging her son one more time. Aaron nodded, picked up his phone and left.  
Chas looked at Robert, watching his chest rise and fall steadily, still asleep. “I don’t think you deserve him,” she said. “But for some God forsaken reason, he does. So just… don’t drop dead, okay? That’d be great.”

* * *

 

Aaron did feel better after a couple of hours sleep, a change of clothes and a shower. None of that would make Robert wake up, but it did make him feel vaguely more human.

He’d left Liv some money (for food, nothing else) before grabbing his phone and charger, and zipping his hoodie up. He opened the door and found Rebecca and the baby there, obviously about to knock.

“What do you want?” Aaron asked bluntly, the baby in his pram.

“To talk…?” she suggested. She did look much less confident than usual, almost near tears actually. Shame that Aaron really didn’t care.

“I’ve got to get to the hospital, I don’t have the time,” Aaron said.

“How is he?”

Aaron considered not answering that. “Alive. Unconscious. The doctors are worried but we won’t know more until he wakes up.”

“Oh. Good,” she said.

“I have to go,” Aaron said. “I don’t have time for your games.”

“I’m not playing games,” Rebecca said.

“Really?” Aaron said. “Telling two different men they’re the father just because you can, or because you want to twist the knife sounds exactly like game playing to me. They can’t both be his dad.”

“Can I come in?”

“No,” Aaron said, moving outside and closing the door. “Liv’s studying and I’m not going to disturb her for the fiftieth rerun of whatever this is.” That was a lie about Liv, she was off with Gabby, but Aaron didn’t want her in his house. “What do you want Rebecca?”

“I er… I’m going to have a DNA test done,” she said.

“Right,” Aaron said. “Could have admitted that was needed back in April.”

“Would it have changed anything?” Rebecca said exasperated.

“I might have had a slightly higher opinion of you,” Aaron said after a moments thought. 

“Aaron…”

“Look, I am never going to like you. Do whatever you want to, it’s none of my business. If you want praise or forgiveness, you’re in the wrong place.”

“I didn’t…”

“You slept with someone who was both drunk and married. Both of which you knew, neither stopped you. And then you lied about knowing for sure who the father was. All you had to say was “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.” And all of this mess would have been saved.” Rebecca huffed. “Well, some of it anyway,” Aaron amended.

“It’s not his fault,” Rebecca said, nodding at the baby.

“You think I don’t know that?” Aaron asked. “Of course it’s not. Wasn’t his fault when you forbade Robert to see him either, his father. Or that was your story at the time. But he’ll have to learn quickly that life isn’t fair.”

“Aaron, why are you so cruel?” she asked.

“I’m nicer to people who didn’t sleep with my husband.” Aaron didn’t want to hear any more, so he got into his car and drove off.

* * *

 

Aaron was slightly out of breath when he got to Robert’s hospital room, rushing to get there. Aaron scanned his body, but it looked like there was no change. And then he looked for Chas, only it wasn’t. Vic sat at her brothers bedside.

“I’m here, you can get out now,” Aaron said casually.

“Excuse me?” Vic said. “You…”

“You are not needed here,” Aaron said. “Robert’s older than six months, go and find someone who’s not.”

“Aaron!” Vic gasped.

“What, surprised someone’s telling you the truth?” Aaron knew he was being harsh, he _**knew** _ that. And yet he couldn’t stop. When both he and Robert had been seriously suffering during the breakdown of their marriage, all Vic cared about was Rebecca. Vic was an old friend. She was before Robert ever entered the picture. And to be so abandoned by her because one woman got pregnant… well, that would take a lot of forgiveness that Aaron didn’t have in him after only two hours sleep and Robert still unconscious.

“You don’t mean that,” Vic said.

“No,” Aaron said. “Maybe I don’t. But you know something? You could have put half a second of thought into how I was coping, Vic. Forget Robert for a second. You and Adam were my friends. I helped you, when you wanted to run away and get married. Remember that? What did I do to deserve your complete disregard?”

“Okay, maybe I got a little tunnel vision…”

“You think?”

“But Aaron, it’s a baby,” Vic said, shaking her head.

“One Robert didn’t want, I didn’t want, and you didn’t even let the fact it was more complicated enter your head,” Aaron said. He sighed very deeply, too tired for this conversation when Vic would always be convinced she was right. “I’ll sit with him,” Aaron said. “Go and talk to your new shiny friend. Your old one’s tired.” Vic clearly didn’t want to argue the point, because she got up and left, much to Aaron’s relief. Having this long embittered fight with Vic wasn’t in his interests, but he was too exhausted for it right now. He took Robert's hand, and waited.

 


	4. On The Fourth Day Of Christmas...

**On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, one awakening.**

* * *

 

The doctors were jotting notes down on Robert’s chart, and Aaron knew that they were starting to get confused as to why he’d not woken up. Aaron wondered how worried he was supposed to be. Probably a lot.

“Okay, Robert, enough’s enough now. Stop being stubborn and give it up. Just wake up. Please.” Aaron squeezed his hand, but it didn’t have any effect. He didn’t really expect it to, but he couldn’t stop hoping. The doctor left with a glum look on his face and Aaron looked at Robert sadly. Maybe… this really was it. Everything they’d been through, maybe it ended like this. Maybe, no matter how much they tried and wanted it to work, it just wasn’t meant to be. No matter how much that broke his heart.

Robert’s hand twitched. Aaron’s heart lurched, looking at the slight movement of his finger, before his eyes snapped to Robert’s face. He still had the oxygen mask on, but he could see his eyes, open, alert. And afraid.

“You’re okay,” Aaron reassured, the relief crashing over Aaron. “You’re in hospital but you’re going to be fine.” He made sure he was in Robert’s eye line and the pure panic left him. “You’re going to be all right.” Aaron was almost saying that one to himself. Robert flexed his hand, reaching for his mask.

“How long’ve I been out?” His voice sounded rough, unused.

“Three days or so,” Aaron said, and Robert looked surprised.

“W… what happened with Lachlan? What…”

“You remember?” Aaron asked. He’d been warned that Robert’s memory might suffer, what with how long he’d been unconscious.

“Yes!” Robert snapped, then winced as he’d tried to move too quickly.

“He’s in prison,” Aaron reassured him. “He’s been charged and he's not going to go near you, you’re safe.”

“What about you?” Robert asked. “He didn’t… shoot you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Aaron said. “Relieved you’re awake. It’s… been some time.”

“Sorry,” Robert said. “What did the doctors say?”

“They… had to remove one of your kidneys,” Aaron said. “But besides blood loss, you didn’t suffer anything else. You’ll be fine.”

Robert looked worried. “Sure?”

“Now you’re awake I am,” Aaron said. “I was… really, really worried.” His voice broke on the last word and he looked down at his lap. He didn’t want to break down into tears, not when they were both so unsure what they were to each other now. Aaron only looked up when Robert reached for his hand slowly.

“Have you been here the entire time?” Robert asked.

“Pretty much,” Aaron said. “Went home for a change of clothes, but otherwise, yeah.”

“Aaron,” Robert said softly, his fingers starting to stroke Aaron’s gently, tenderly.

“Don’t,” Aaron said. “Please. I know we need to talk, I know. But we’ll do it when you’re up for it. Which isn’t five minutes after waking up from a coma.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Robert said so quietly. “I never wanted that. Not ever.”

“I know.” And Aaron truly did know that. He wasn’t just saying the words, he knew deep in his heart that it was true. But it also didn’t stop the situation from hurting Aaron anyway.

“We need to talk.”

“Rob…”

“Oh!" the doctor said, surprised to find him conscious, which she then tried to cover up. "Robert Sugden, back in the land of the living, I see,” she said brightly as she came in, interrupting their all too brief reunion. She flashed a light in Robert’s eyes and he winced away from it.

“We’re going to need to do some tests,” she said firmly.

“But…” Aaron said. He didn’t want a doctor to start taking up all of Robert’s precious conscious moments. He wanted to be selfish.

“It’s fine,” Robert said. “Do me a favour.”

“What?”

“Go home. Get some sleep, and I’ll be here when you look a little better.”

“Cheers,” Aaron said sarcastically, watching Robert’s mouth tilt up, a faint echo of his trademark smirk.

“We’ll talk,” Robert said, promising him. “I imagine the police will want a word with me too.” Aaron nodded, and left. Robert was making sense, but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it.

“Yeah, I’ll er… be back later. Okay?” Robert nodded. Aaron took a risk, he pressed a kiss to the top of Robert’s head, and their eyes caught. It was obvious they were both remembering when Aaron was the one in the hospital bed, recovering after almost drowning. “I’ll be back,” Aaron promised and Robert nodded before allowing the doctor to do whatever tests she insisted on running.

* * *

When Aaron returned later in the day, Robert looked brighter and much more himself. And the oxygen mask had gone, so that was good. “I’m not doing too badly, according to their tests,” Robert said, answering Aaron’s unasked question.

“Good,” Aaron said. “It’s… so good to see you awake.”

“I worried you didn’t I?” Robert said as Aaron sat down opposite him.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. Then he cut to the chase. “You did. Look, Robert, we need to talk about the baby.”

“I know,” Robert said, looking defeated. “Have you seen her?”

“Yeah, only for a few minutes,” Aaron said. “I don’t know what she wanted with me actually. She came to my house.”

“What did she say?” 

“Robert, she said she was getting a DNA test done,” Aaron said, biting his bottom lip because he knew Robert wouldn’t be pleased.

“Aaron…” he almost growled.

“I didn’t suggest it, she brought it up,” Aaron said. “I don’t think it’s a bad idea, but…”

“He’s my son,” Robert said, speaking calmly. “Just because it would be more convenient for you if he wasn’t…”

“Robert, I don’t want to fight,” Aaron said. “Doesn’t… Seb deserve to know? In the end, one way or another?”

“You don’t want this for him,” Robert said. “You’re doing it for you.”

“Oh, right,” Aaron said sarcastically. “And the fact I think you should know the truth has nothing to do with it, of course not.”

Robert sighed heavily. “I don’t want to know.”

“I know you don’t.” Aaron took his hand and squeezed it gently. “But it will always eat away at you if you don’t find out. You know it will.” Robert looked at the ceiling, but didn’t pull his hand back for which Aaron was grateful.

“Then what about us?” Robert asked. “I… is our relationship really dependent on the flip of a coin?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said, unwilling to lie. “I’m not sure if I can cope with your son with **_her_**. I know that’s the wrong answer, but… I don’t know.” Robert nodded. He’d been expecting that. “But I do know I miss you.” Robert looked at him, not quite daring to be hopeful. “And I want us to work, I just don’t know if I can… deal with it.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I’m trying to be honest with you,” Aaron said. “I don’t know where it leaves us.”

“Whatever that DNA test says…” Robert said. “It’s not Seb’s fault.”

“I know,” Aaron said quickly. “None of this is his fault. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel things I shouldn’t when I think of him.” Robert nodded.

“I love you,” Robert said. “I… always loved you, and I am so sorry for hurting you like this.” Aaron looked at him sadly. “I want him to be mine. But that doesn’t change the fact I will always, _always_ hate how badly I hurt you.” Aaron moved and kissed his lips very softly. He needed to touch Robert right now, felt the overwhelming urge to do it. Robert stroked his cheek lightly, smiling.

“I’m glad you were here when I woke up,” Robert said. Aaron nodded, but right now, he had no idea what else there was to say.

 


	5. On The Fifth Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of baby content here, so I hope this doesn't overly upset anyone!! Thanks for reading this far!

> **On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a little forgiveness.**

* * *

 Robert was being discharged. Aaron had brought him a change of clothes and was currently getting Robert’s prescription. Robert felt bone tired and he was more grateful than he’d ever say that Aaron was basically running errands for him. He didn’t know if he’d be up for it, it would take a long time to recover from this.

The door opened to his hospital room and… it was Rebecca. Robert zipped up his hoodie while glaring at her. She had the baby in her arms and she didn’t look exactly pleased.

“What do you want?” Robert asked. “Aaron’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Yeah, I’ve sent off the DNA test,” she said without preamble. “It might take a few days with Christmas, but we should have the results soon.”

“You didn’t take a sample from me,” Robert said angrily.

“No,” she said. “Ross,” she added in explanation.

“Oh,” Robert said quietly. “Right.” He could hardly argue that. “Are you going to let me see him?”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Rebecca said slightly coldly. Robert nodded and held his arms out for the baby. She hesitated, but handed him over.

“I would  _never_  hurt him,” Robert said forcefully as he sat down. He was too tired to stand up for long periods at the moment. He probably shouldn’t be being discharged right now, but he didn’t want to hang around the hospital for longer than absolutely necessary.

“You don’t exactly have a great track record,” she said.

“I never said I was perfect,” Robert grumbled. Seb was asleep and Robert cradled his head against his chest, keeping him secure.

“How are you?” Rebecca asked.

“Your nephew shredded my kidney after shooting me in the back, how do you think I am?” Robert said. “I’ll be all right,” he added, relenting slightly. “How’s he been doing?”

“He’s had his health check,” Rebecca said. “Putting on weight, so he’s doing really well.”

“Good,” Robert said. “I…” the door opened again and Aaron appeared. He quickly took in Rebecca, the baby and Robert and flinched.

“I’m getting in the way aren’t I?” he said, turning straight back and leaving. Robert couldn’t leave it at that, he didn’t even think before following Aaron through the hospital corridors, Seb still in his arms.

“Aaron, come on,” Robert said. He wasn’t walking fast, if he was Aaron could have easily outpaced him with how weak Robert was feeling lately. He stopped, turned and bit his bottom lip.

“What do you want me to say?” Aaron said heavily. “Oh, this is a really great family scene which doesn’t include me?”

“It’s not like that, you know it isn’t,” Robert said.

“Still hurts, though.”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed. “I know.” There was a squall and Seb started to wake up and cry. Robert rocked him, desperately trying to get him quiet, because this was not exactly helping his cause right now. “Oh, come on, Seb, do me a massive favour, all right?” Robert was surprised Aaron still stood opposite him while the baby kept fussing. Thought he'd use this opportunity to run off, but Aaron didn't.

“Having trouble?” Aaron said. Robert looked at him and saw that Aaron was privately amused that Robert couldn’t cope. “Stop panicking.”

“What?” Robert snapped.

“You’re so tense, no wonder he can’t settle, give him here.” Aaron spoke without thinking, just taking the baby from him, the wailing very loud.

Aaron took him and started to soothe him, almost like it was instinct. And within 30 seconds, the full out crying had reduced to just the odd squawk, and then it faded completely, Seb closing his eyes. Aaron looked around and sat down on a plastic chair, Robert following him.

“How did you do that?!” Robert said, hating being showed up and being incapable in any scenario, let alone with his son. Even if that had a question mark after it, whether he was his.

“Kids just like me,” Aaron said, Seb tucking his head in the crook of Aaron‘s neck, like it was the most comfortable place in the world to be. “It was the same with Leo. Stop being scared of him, he‘ll soon get the message.”

“I’m not scared of him,” Robert said. Aaron looked at him dead on, as if daring him to lie. “I’m not,” he insisted. “I am scared I’ll damage him.”

Aaron’s face softened at that. “He’s tougher than you think. Actually, he’ll have to be if he’s yours.” Robert let out a little huff of amusement. “Do you want…” Aaron asked, proffering the baby towards Robert, but he shook his head.

“If you’re okay holding him,” Robert said. “Wouldn’t want to wind him up again.”

“I’m okay,” Aaron said, meaning it. “I’ve er… never held him before.” He hadn’t. He’d seen him quite a few times, but not held him. Hadn’t even wanted to, because that would involve talking to Rebecca, or trying to patch things up with Robert, neither of which he’d been that crazy for.

“You do know I’d never hurt him, don’t you?” Aaron said.

“I have so many things that could and frequently do go wrong in my life,” Robert said. “That thought has never occurred to me. Not once.” Aaron nodded, glad. “This is a complete mess,” Robert sighed.

“Well, you never do things by half’s, do you?” Aaron said. “How’re you feeling?”

“I hurt,” Robert admitted. “I’ll be fine.”

“He does look like you,” Aaron said, the hurt warring with practicalities.

“Maybe.”

“Don’t do that!” They both looked up to see Rebecca out of breath. “You can’t just go running off with him without a word!” Rebecca moved and took Seb from Aaron’s arms almost roughly, Aaron giving him up. “And I didn’t say he could have him either.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron said without thinking it through beforehand. “You wanted me out of your life, you should have slept with someone else’s husband.” Rebecca shook her head, before walking off and Aaron sighed. “She’s not going to want me anywhere near him.”

“Do you want to be?” Robert asked.

“It might make life difficult if I refuse to be in the same room as him,” Aaron said. “Come home.”

“Aaron…”

“I’m not saying it’s going to work, I’m not saying we’re not going to have massive problems, but… come home.”

“Do you mean that?”

“I might not be ready to start anything yet, but… yeah,” Aaron said.

“Rebecca’s always going to be a problem,” Robert warned. He couldn’t be given another chance and then have it ripped away from him again. Not without warning Aaron completely first.

“You couldn’t have slept with someone halfway rational?” Aaron asked. Robert had a retort ready, but Aaron’s eyes were sparkling, and it was clear he didn’t mean it. “Come home.”

* * *

 Robert collapsed onto the sofa at the Mill, not having the energy to go upstairs, and not sure if Aaron would even want him in their bed. Or the spare room. It was just easier to sleep on the sofa for a while. As long as he was allowed here, he’d appreciate it. He felt so weak and he couldn't switch his mind off, thinking of so many different scenarios, things that could happen.

He opened his eyes to see Aaron giving him a glass of water and his painkillers. He must have drifted off to sleep and he muttered his thanks. As he was falling asleep again, he felt a soft blanket being thrown over him, but he didn’t have enough consciousness left to say thanks. Though Aaron's fingers trailing through his hair... he appreciated that close touch.


	6. On The Sixth Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So up until this point, every chapter has been one day. I'm now tweaking that a little, as my plan has been thrown out of the window. Hope no one minds! (Also in this story, I can't decide on Seb's paternity. I know what I want on screen though....)

 

**On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a midnight surprise.**

* * *

 

It was pitch black, the middle of the night when Robert woke up, hearing footsteps. He waited, recognising Aaron’s tread even after so many months. Robert listened as he ran a tap, clearly getting a drink, and then… silence. Robert wondered if he’d gone back upstairs, and he simply hadn’t heard him when he felt Aaron’s presence near him in the living room.

They didn’t speak. Robert was about to when he felt Aaron kiss him, half on his mouth, half cheek. Robert moved to catch his lips by instinct, he wanted to feel more. Aaron deepened it and Robert gasped, enjoying the taste of him, the rasp of his stubble against his skin. This was passionate, it wasn’t any of the reassuring gentle small kisses they’d shared while Robert was in hospital. This was vastly different. Aaron pulled back and Robert sighed, closing his eyes to enjoy the echo of it. Then Robert stopped breathing entirely. Aaron got on top of him on the sofa, leaning over his chest and kissing him again, very intimately. Robert started gasping and Aaron pulled back, a hand still in his hair.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Robert said. Because _God, yes_. “Just… be careful.” Robert took Aaron’s hand and directed it to the bandages on his side. He felt Aaron nod in the split second before he kissed him again.

After about five minutes of this, with bruised lips, Robert realised what was happening. They were going to have sex. This wasn’t just a passionate embrace on the sofa, Aaron wanted more, he could feel it vibrating through his body. They’d done this so often, Robert knew the signs when Aaron was chasing his own pleasure.

“Aaron…”

“Ssh.” Aaron put two fingers on his lips to quieten him and Robert didn’t argue. He didn’t want to. Robert couldn’t see him, and this was new, almost novel to him. They weren’t keep the lights off kind of people. They couldn’t be, they’d spent too much time grabbing every spare second they could during the affair. So to be in complete darkness made it slightly new, and it had been so long since Robert had been with him that nothing was going to make him want to stop.

* * *

Robert woke up, but kept his eyes closed. He wondered for a moment if he’d dreamed last night, Aaron coming downstairs and climbing on top of him. But the ache in his body told him he hadn’t, it was real, it had happened. He ran a hand over his body, almost checking he was in one piece, and dressed in case Liv appeared. He was, thankfully. His back was okay too, luckily his stitches hadn’t torn open. He’d been told to avoid anything too strenuous and he was completely sure last night didn’t come under that heading. And he didn’t care. He was trying to commit every moment to memory, in case he never got Aaron like that again.

What Aaron was thinking this morning though, God knows. As he thought of Aaron, he heard his voice. With Liv.

“What’s he doing here?” Liv said. They must be in the kitchen, Robert thought.

“I asked him to come home,” Aaron said, obvious he didn’t want to talk about it.

“What, you’ve forgiven him?” Liv asked.

“He got shot,” Aaron said. “He’s had surgery, and they weren’t sure if he’d live. I want him here, the doesn’t mean I forget the last year, Liv.”

“But why?”

“I love him,” Aaron said. “And sometimes… it hurts. But I love him, and… when faced with the prospect of him dying… I didn’t want that. I couldn’t bear losing him like that. So yes, I asked him back here. Please don’t kick up a fuss.”

“I don’t want him here!” Liv snapped. “The baby…”

“I’m tired of this argument Liv,” Aaron said, and it was clear he was exasperated. “He made a mistake.”

“That’s what you’re calling it, is it?”

“A big one,” Aaron said. “I’m trying with him. And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t kick off.”

“Aaron…”

“Please,” Aaron said. There was a silence which Robert took to mean Liv was thinking about it.

“Fine,” Liv said. “I’m going out, Gabby wants to go sale shopping, so…”

“Is this bribery so you play nice?” Aaron asked, and Robert could almost see Aaron emptying his wallet. Robert feigned sleep until he heard the door go a few minutes later. Aaron was still in the kitchen and Robert got up, following him to grab his pain killers. Aaron smiled a little at him, though he looked slightly wary.

“I was getting worried,” Aaron said.

“Why?”

“It’s gone past midday.” Robert’s eyes swung to the clock, seeing Aaron was right.

“I was tired,” Robert said, getting himself some orange juice from the fridge to take his tablets with. “I am recovering from surgery.”

“Yeah, listen,” Aaron said, looking shifty and uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. About last night, I don’t know what got into me.” It was clear from the look on his face that Aaron thought he’d taken advantage of the situation.

“I’m not sorry,” Robert said surely. 

“No?”

“Why would I be?” Robert asked. “I’ve never stopped wanting you, Aaron.”

“It doesn’t fix things.”

“No,” Robert agreed. “Felt damn good though.” Aaron smiled at that, some of the light coming back into his eyes.

“Yeah, all right,” Aaron said. “It did.” Robert kissed him very softly and Aaron’s eyes looked at him for a moment like he was the whole world. Whatever there was between them, whatever foundation, it was still there.

“What about Liv?” Robert asked.

“You heard her?”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly flavour of the month with her,” Robert said. “I miss her, you know?”

“Well, it can be repaired,” Aaron said, with what Robert considered naivety. “It’s not like she’s trying to get you sent to prison this time.”

“Mm,” Robert said. “I want to fix it.”

“Give her time,” Aaron said.

“Have I got time to give?” Robert asked hesitantly. Aaron flashed him a look, but didn’t reply.


	7. On The Seventh Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, what's this?? I've... done two chapters in one day!! It's been ages since I've managed that!!! This story I've been enjoying writing much more than I expected, so two today! Enjoy!

**On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me one spiky teenager.**

* * *

 

Robert waited, almost with trepidation for Liv to come home. Aaron had gone to the pub with Adam, and to probably have a gossip about Robert to his mum. Robert didn’t blame him, not in the slightest. It couldn’t have been easy waiting for Robert to wake up. From experience, Robert knew how much it hurt when all you could do was sit and wait.

Speaking of sitting and waiting, Liv came in with Gabby and a couple of shopping bags. She looked at Robert with distaste for a moment. “Liv, I need a word.”

“I’m busy.”

“Please,” Robert said. Liv and Gabby shared a look and Gabby left the house.

“Fine,” she said. “What do you want?”

“I want… to apologise.”

“I don’t need this.”

“Please Liv, sit down and just listen,” Robert said. She hesitated, then did and Robert thought maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

“I never meant to hurt your brother,” Robert said, Liv scoffing. “Hurting him is about the last thing I’d ever want. And I didn’t want to hurt you either.”

“Robert, this isn’t helping,” she said.

“I screwed up,” Robert said. “Majorly. I could not have fucked up more, I know that. I will always regret it.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said acidly. “When you’re off with your perfect little brand new family I’m sure you regret the one stupid drunk night that gave it to you.”

“Liv, that’s not what happened,” Robert said calmly. “I had my family, the one I wanted more than anything a year ago. And I lost it. My own fault, but it still hurt to lose Aaron. And you.”

“But the baby…”

“I can’t abandon him, and I don’t want to,” Robert said. “Absolutely not the circumstances I’d ever have wanted, but I can’t pretend he doesn’t exist either.”

“I can’t stand this,” Liv said.

“I get that,” Robert said. “I can stay out of your way if you want, but… Aaron does, at the moment, want me here. And I love your stupid brother. So we might have to get along.”

“What are you doing about the baby?”

“Waiting, currently,” Robert said. “Rebecca sent off a DNA test. Beyond that, I don’t know.”

“You want him to be yours?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I’m sorry, I do. None of that effects how I feel about you. I don’t want Rebecca, it was never about her.”

“You could have been here when she was pregnant,” Liv said. “You didn’t have to hang off her every word, you didn’t have to leave.”

“I never left Aaron,” Robert said. “I wanted to stay here. Aaron didn’t. He ended it. I’m not blaming him, but I couldn’t be here after he threw me out, could I?”

“But I wanted you here,” Liv said, voice wobbling.

“I know,” Robert said.

“Are you going to go again?”

“Not if I can help it,” Robert said. “It’s Aaron’s decision what he can cope with.” Liv raised her shoulders like she was ready for attack again. “I never broke up with you.”

“You…”

“I never did. I gave you space because you were angry, I know you were so angry, but… I was always there. If you’d needed someone. You… don’t let anyone close to you, Liv. Like a certain scrap yard guy I know.”

She let out a reluctant smile at that. “I want to hate you.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I hate myself most days.”

“Do you?”

“Everyone I’ve ever cared about, I always make their lives worse,” Robert said. “Yeah, I do hate myself sometimes.”

“Don’t you ever get tired?” Liv asked.

“All the time,” Robert said. Liv leaned in against him for a hug and Robert bit down his gasp of pain. She was leaning against his stitches.

“I’m hurting you aren’t I?” Liv said.

“Sorry,” Robert said. “Bit of advice, don’t get shot in the back.”

“Don’t be an arse, then people won’t want to shoot you in the back,” Liv said.

“That’s fair,” Robert said. “I love you.”

“Don’t go all soft on me,” Liv said with a scowl and Robert smiled as she went upstairs. It wouldn’t be easy, but maybe the first bridge had been made.

* * *

Aaron left the pub, feeling he’d possibly given Robert and Liv enough time, but not too much before bloodshed occurred. He was just turning into the driveway when he heard something. A black car, relatively new was parked across the road. Curiosity got the better of him. He looked at the car, the thin noise getting closer. Aaron looked and… he couldn’t believe what he saw. Sebastian was in the back seat, crying. He’d been left all alone in a parked car at night. And it was December, it was near freezing. God, he could die. Thinking quickly, he looked around and grabbed a rock from the ground. He moved to the front car door, opposite side to the baby and threw the rock through the window, hoping no glass would get anywhere near him. It broke the window and Aaron quickly took his hoodie off as the crying picking up in volume.

He pushed aside the glass carefully and (while getting flashbacks to his teenage years) reached in and grabbed the baby, wrapping him in his hoodie. 

“Hey, come here,” Aaron said quietly. “I know life sucks, but you’re okay. I’ve got you.” The crying still broke the night air and Aaron wondered what the hell Rebecca was thinking as he rocked the baby and headed to the Mill.

Robert and Liv were in the kitchen, Liv tapping away on her phone, Robert cooking, both of them staring at Aaron and a crying baby as he came home.

“What…?” Robert asked while Liv simply stared.

“I found him in a car.”

“Where’s Rebecca?” Robert said.

“If I knew that, do you think I’d have him right now?!” Aaron snapped. There was a moment of stunned silence, except the baby.

“She left him in her car?” Liv asked, scowling at him.

“Apparently,” Aaron said. He kept rocking the baby and Robert came over to have a look at him, hand around Seb’s head trying to comfort him.

“How long had he been out there?”

“Long enough for the car to start getting a frost,” Aaron said. “I don’t know, Robert.”

“I’m going to kill her,” Robert growled.

“I think that might be what got you into this mess,” Aaron said, unwilling to be reasonable right now. He handed over the baby to Robert, both of them watching as Seb started to get quiet.

“Your hoodie?”

“I had to wrap him in something,” Aaron said. “Robert, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Have you called the police or anyone?” Robert asked.

“I didn’t know how long that would take. Or how long he had, so no, I didn’t.” Seb looked up at Robert and blinked at him, now completely quiet and Aaron sighed. He was all right then. That was good. Leaving Robert’s son to die in a car would probably be something they couldn’t come back from.

“Well… what do we do now?” Liv asked, looking at the baby. Robert and Aaron looked at each other, not having the slightest clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I don't think the Liv Robert relationship will be fixed in one conversation, but I'm trying to fit this within the 12 chapters, so I hope it doesn't read as out of place.)


	8. On The Eighth Day Of Christmas...

**On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me one saved wedding ring.**

* * *

“Stay still,” Robert muttered, gripping Aaron’s hand tightly. He’d cut himself across Aaron’s left palm when he’d got the baby out of the car, and he had glass in the cut. He hadn’t noticed until he’d got home, and Robert was currently getting the slivers out with tweezers. Both of them were waiting for Rebecca to turn up, because neither of them really believed she’d not return to find out where Seb was. It wasn’t like she’d dumped her car somewhere no one would find him.

“Ah!” Aaron gasped.

“Sorry,” Robert said, concentrating. “You didn’t have to do that. Get him out of the car.”

“What kind of man do you think I am?” Aaron asked in disbelief.

“No, I mean… you could have called the police, got social services involved, have him taken away,” Robert said. “I… wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“You really think the care system’s better for him?” Aaron asked. “I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to get him out of there.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. “I think that’s you done.” He put a plaster over Aaron’s palm, then folded his fingers, looking at the hand that once bore his own ring.

“I still have it,” Aaron said, noticing his gaze. “The er… ring.”

“Oh?” Robert asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I…” Aaron cleared his throat. “When you lost consciousness after you’d been shot. I found it around your neck. I took it, it doesn’t make much sense, but I just wanted it.”

“Thank God for that,” Robert said. Aaron frowned, not following. “I thought I lost it. When I was discharged, it wasn’t with my clothes, it wasn’t in police evidence either. I really thought… I’d lost it.”

“Well, you haven’t,” Aaron said. “I just couldn’t think of a good time to bring it up.”

“Can I have it back?”

“No.”

“Aaron, come on,” Robert said.

“I’m not ready to wear it, Robert. But I’m not giving it back to you either.” Aaron's eyes were bright and Robert could barely believe it.

“Okay,” Robert said, smiling a little. It felt good to feel this kind of hope again. Robert let go of his hand, Aaron opened his mouth to say something, and then there was a huge banging on the door.

“Robert!!!”

“Liv, go upstairs,” Aaron said briefly.

“You are kidding, right?” Liv said in disbelief. “If we have to put up with him, the least you can do is let me see the show.” Aaron didn’t argue any further, just opened the door to see a very bedraggled Rebecca. Her hair was a mess, she looked in a panic and Aaron had no sympathy for her.

“Rebecca, how wonderful to see you,” Aaron said sarcastically as she came in.

“Where is he?!” she shouted. “Is he all right?! Is he…?”

“You left your son in a freezing car,” Aaron said. “Now, I don’t like you, I never liked you. But that goes beyond what even I’d do.”

“Where is he?!” she shouted.

“He was sleeping,” Robert said, picking him up and rocking him to stop him from fussing, but not before shooting Rebecca a glare over the baby’s head.

“Give him here,” Rebecca said, reaching out for him.

“No way in hell,” Robert said.

“I didn’t leave him,” Rebecca said. “I was five minutes. I was only going to be five minutes.”

Aaron scoffed. “The engine was cold and he was screaming. You can’t tell a car thief that you’d only been gone five minutes.”

“I fell asleep,” Rebecca said. “I didn’t mean to, I just… I was picking up some of my stuff from Vic’s and I’ve been so tired. I fell asleep at the kitchen table, I didn’t mean to, I was only ever going to be five minutes and…”

“Rebecca, calm down,” Robert said. “He’s fine. But he’s lucky,” he added in a warning.

“Okay,” she said, breathing heavily. “I… have you called anyone? I…”

“No,” Aaron said. “But he’s staying here tonight.”

“Aaron,” Robert and Rebecca said at the same time, in a completely different tone. Rebecca in horror, Robert in complete disbelief.

“You’re clearly not thinking straight,” Aaron said to Rebecca, forcing to keep calm. “Leaving him in a car is stupid. So leave his stuff here, and come back in the morning when you’ve calmed down.”

“I can’t leave him,” Rebecca said.

“You had no problem doing that an hour ago,” Robert said. Then he relented. “Come on, you know I’m not going to hurt him. No matter how pissed you might be with me personally, you know that.”

“Fine,” Rebecca said. She clearly knew she didn’t have a leg to stand on. She stroked Seb’s head gently saying goodbye before leaving, dropping a bag of stuff at the door.

“We’re not paying for the car window by the way,” Aaron called after her. She didn’t reply. Once the door closed, Robert Aaron and Liv looked at each other.

“Look, this isn’t fair to you,” Robert said, pulling Seb closer to his chest. “I’ll go to Vic’s, or the B and B.”

“No, you’re not,” Aaron said. “It’s late, and I’ve had just about too much for one day.”

“Thank you,” Robert said sincerely. Aaron nodded, but said nothing else.

* * *

 

Seb had fallen asleep and Robert looked at the clock, hopefully he’d sleep all the way through the night now. The last thing he needed was for Seb to wake up the whole house. “Do daddy a favour, okay?” he asked. “Please.” Robert lay on the sofa, trying to get comfortable. It was a nice sofa, but it wasn't exactly the same as a bed.

“Aren’t you coming up or what?” Aaron asked, from halfway down the stairs.

“I thought…” Robert spluttered, not sure how to take that.

“Come on, the mattress is more comfortable,” Aaron said lowly. “I miss you.”

“I’m not coming on my own,” Robert said, looking at the sleeping baby.

“Oh, and here’s me thinking I’d stick him out in the cold,” Aaron said sarcastically. “Get some proper sleep. And I won't have to get out of bed if I suddenly decide I have to sleep with you.” It was meant as a joke, and Robert appreciated it, tilting his lips up slightly.

“Okay,” Robert said, picking up the baby. “Thanks. That doesn’t even cover it really, but… thank you.” Aaron nodded and they went upstairs together.


	9. On The Ninth Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of Aaron's self harm here, just the first part of this chapter.

 

**On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, one nosy mother.**

* * *

 

Robert awoke to a stabbing pain on his side, surgical wound hurting. He wanted his painkillers, badly. He groaned, rolled over so it’d hurt less and saw Aaron holding the baby. “What…”

“He’s fine,” Aaron said, knowing that he was worried. “Bedside table,” he added, knowing what Robert was looking for. Robert looked and saw a glass of water with his painkillers which he quickly took.

“How long’ve you been up?”

“Since Seb woke,” Aaron said. “You were out of it.”

“Surgery,” Robert said. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Aaron said. “He’s better behaved than you are anyway.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. “Can I…?” Aaron handed him over.

“You don’t have to do this,” Robert said, cradling Seb close to his chest. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

“Yeah, well,” Aaron said, shrugging uncomfortably. “Not his fault is it?”

“Aaron…”

“It hurts,” Aaron admitted. “But I don’t see it hurting less seeing you in the street with him, either. At the end of the day, I still love you.”

“I hate how much I’ve hurt you,” Robert said.

“I’m not a fan either,” Aaron said. “Look, we’re here. Lets just try and… get through it, okay?”

“Is that really what you want?” Robert asked. “To just get through it?”

“I can’t have what I want,” Aaron said. “I do want you, I really do. And this will be tough, but… I want you.”

“But…”

“It’s not going to be easy, I know that,” Aaron said. “But I’m here, I’m trying. And my God, I missed you.”

“But…”

“I think we should take it one day at a time,” Aaron said.

“I don’t want you hurting yourself again,” Robert said. “I can’t cope with it if you keep everything locked in your head. I’ll go out of my mind with worry, Aaron.”

“I’m doing better,” Aaron said. “I’m still seeing my counsellor, I’m… it’s okay.” Robert wasn’t convinced. “And we can talk about it. Me cutting. I never want to be in that situation again, where I feel so trapped and I can’t talk to you.”

“Okay,” Robert agreed. “We’ll talk then. When you need to.”

“I’m not going to say I’m never going to do it again, but I will say I’m not going to let myself get that isolated when I’m afraid to even talk to you.” Robert leaned across and pressed a gentle kiss to Aaron’s lips, making him smile a little. “Breakfast?” Robert nodded, getting up. Today might be a good day.

Rebecca turned up before they’d even got the toast on, obvious she’d been crying. “How is he?”

“He’s fine, slept right through,” Robert said. “I didn’t kill him.” Rebecca glared at Robert, holding her arms out for her son. Robert gave him over willingly. “Just be more careful.” Rebecca didn’t even seem to hear the criticism, continuing to tell Seb how sorry she was. Robert didn’t really take it to heart, just wanted her to go. He felt highly uncomfortable having Rebecca in the Mill, and when she left, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Do you want lunch in the pub?” Aaron asked.

“I… er…” Robert spluttered. Being in a building where Aaron’s overprotective mother was didn’t sound exactly thrilling. Especially when they were working on their already tenuous relationship, Robert really didn’t need her telling Aaron he was better off without him.

“We’ve got to face them sometime,” Aaron said. “They’ll all be gossiping about us anyway.”

“Okay,” Robert agreed.

* * *

 

“Two pints please,” Aaron said, pleased the pub was busy. It meant Chas couldn’t give him the grilling he expected. She poured them as slowly as she dared, what with other customers waiting. 

“How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Aaron said honestly. 

“And him?” she asked, her tone changing dramatically.

“He’ll recover from the gunshot,” Aaron said. “Thankfully.”

“Are you really back with him?” Chas asked, putting one pint on the bar.

“We’re working on it,” Aaron said.

“He’ll just make you miserable,” Chas warned.

“I wasn’t exactly happy without him, mum,” Aaron said. “Yeah, he might break my heart again. But I want to give him a chance, and I’d love it if you’d respect that.”

“Aaron…”

“Because if you’re right, in the end I’m going to need you,” he said, cutting her off from the rant that was clearly coming. Chas looked at him, and in that moment, they reached a kind of understanding that couldn’t quite be put into words.

“Okay,” Chas said. “My mouth will be being kept firmly shut.”

“Thank you,” Aaron said sincerely. Chas put the second pint down and held his hand tightly before Aaron went over to sit at their table in the corner.

“All right?” Robert asked, jaw clenched. It was clear he was on edge, everyone in this pub knew he didn’t deserve another chance with Aaron.

“We can’t hide away in the house the whole time,” Aaron said. He reached under the table and squeezed Robert’s knee, trying to be reassuring.

It wasn’t until the end of their meal, Aaron in the toilets when Chas came over. She’d clearly been waiting for the opportunity to talk to him. “Chas, I don’t have any fight left in me,” Robert said. “You want to have a go at me, go on, you’ll win.”

“You do not deserve another chance with him,” Chas said.

“I know.”

“He’s far too good for you.”

“I know that too,” Robert said. “You can’t tell me anything I don’t know. No one regrets and hates hurting Aaron more than me.”

“Then don’t do it again,” Chas said heavily. “I know what he’s like when he’s set his mind to something, he’s so stubborn. But if you hurt him again, I’m going to kill you.”

“Fine,” Robert said. “I won’t hurt him again. I’d walk away.”

“No you wouldn’t,” Chas said with distaste.

“I love him,” Robert said. “Throughout it all, I loved him. I made a huge mistake I wish I could take back, because I lost a year with him. You can’t say anything I haven’t told myself a thousand times.”

“Just… treat him right.” Chas walked away and Robert sighed. That could have gone a lot worse, all things considered. Aaron came back and smiled at him slightly.

“Do you want another drink, or…”

“Home,” Robert said.

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?”

“What gave me away?” Robert asked. His side was throbbing, but he thought he’d been hiding it from Aaron well.

“I just know you.” Aaron drained the remnants of his pint. “Let’s go.” They got up, just as Rebecca came in with the baby in his carry cot. Everyone stopped talking, clear they were expecting some fireworks and wanted to see the show. Clutched in Rebecca’s other hand was an envelope, and Robert guessed what it was. The DNA results. Robert suddenly and irrationally didn’t want to know.

“I er…” she started.

“Not here,” Aaron said, having cottoned on as well. He didn’t want an audience and they all left the pub, Robert biting down on his bottom lip hard.


	10. On The Tenth Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did promise I'd try to get a second chapter up today, so here it is! Hope this goes over well with everyone! Thank you so much for all the feedback on this so far, it's been great to read! Oh, and I can't remember if I ever said Lawrence died in this fic, but for the purposes of this, he died before these "days" started.

**On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me DNA results.**

* * *

“It arrived this morning,” Rebecca said, just outside the pub. “I…”

“You know?” Robert asked, snatching for the envelope.

“Yes, I…” Robert ignored everything else, opening up the paperwork, fumbling with it.

 _Percentage of paternity, 99.9%._ He read that line several times, freezing. And then his heart sunk. He wasn’t his. Seb wasn’t his son. After everything, and now… he wasn’t his. Oh God.

“You lying bitch.”

“Robert…” she started. Aaron snatched the paperwork and read it.

“But… that’s good isn’t it?” Aaron said, not following.

“Not when Ross’s DNA was the match sent off,” Robert snapped, storming off. Aaron watched him go, feeling completely powerless to stop him. He couldn’t even imagine what Robert was going through, and he only gave him a few seconds before he tried to follow him.

“Aaron, I’m really sorry,” Rebecca said. To her credit, she did seem like it.

“You could never have known for sure,” Aaron said. “Why lie?”

“I really did think he was Rob’s,” Rebecca said.

“But you didn’t know, did you?” Aaron said. "Sleep with two men. Twenty for all I care. But lying about the father of your child? That's cruel." He didn’t waste the time on further conversation, instead trying to find Robert. It didn’t take long to find him on the bridge, and he was shaking. Aaron didn’t think it was because of the cold.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, standing next to him.

“I can’t…” Robert spluttered. “How can I lose him? How could she lie like that? How… oh God.” Aaron stayed quiet, letting Robert rant and just allowing him to be upset.

“You should be relieved,” Robert said. There was no criticism in his voice, so Aaron didn’t take it that way.

“I’m not,” Aaron said.

“No?”

“Not for you,” Aaron said. “I know you love him, and I know you wanted him to be yours.”

“I did,” Robert said. “So badly, I thought… I never thought she was lying, I thought she was saying it to hurt me. Or to stop me from seeing him. I never thought it’d be true.”

“It’s his loss,” Aaron said quietly. “I never thought you’d be a bad dad. Never. He’ll be the one missing out.”

“I… can’t even think clearly. How can he not be mine?”

“I know,” Aaron said, a hand on his back. They turned and found themselves hugging each other, and then Robert pulled back, scrubbing at his face.

“Sorry,” he said. “I know this is what you wanted.”

“It’s not what I wanted,” Aaron said. “I didn’t want to deal with this situation at all and I spent months ignoring it. Didn’t help much. And I am sorry for you, believe me.” And Robert did.

“You’re too much of a good person,” Robert said.

“Can’t be all good,” Aaron said. “I fell for you.”

“Sorry about that,” Robert said. They kissed, a small, tender, reassuring touch.

“That kid has definitely lost something, and I don’t think Ross Barton’s a great replacement to be honest,” Aaron said. Robert didn’t know if he meant it or not, but he appreciated it all the same.

“I lose everything.” Robert shook his head. “Everything that matters to me gets ripped away.”

“Not quite everything.” Aaron laced his fingers through Robert’s, holding his hand and they stood in the quiet, existing together.

* * *

Back at the Mill, Robert had five missed calls from Rebecca, but he didn’t answer them and instead turned his phone off. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s barely past three!” Liv called after him, which he ignored.

“Leave him alone, he’s had some bad news,” Aaron said, sitting on the sofa and stealing the remote from Liv so he could find something decent on the TV. But mostly for a distraction.

“What news?”

“He isn’t Seb’s father,” Aaron said.

“That’s great isn’t it?” Liv said hopefully.

“It might make things simpler for me and you,” Aaron said. “But he’s devastated. He loved that boy.”

Liv paused, obviously seeing the difficulty here. “Is he going to be all right?”

“Yeah, course he is,” Aaron assured. “Probably get drunk tonight and see things clearer in the morning.”

“Lets hope he doesn’t make a stupid mistake like he did the last time he got drunk,” Liv said snarkily.

“Thanks for that,” Aaron said, flinching at the reminder. He took a bottle of whisky and two glasses and went upstairs. Tonight would probably be a blur they both would want to forget.

* * *

The days passed like sludge, and mostly they weren’t talking. Robert was coming to terms with the new reality, and Aaron let him. Part of Aaron did feel relieved, but it was only a part of him. Last Christmas had really hammered it home for him, Aaron had such a large family, and Robert… didn’t really have that many people on his side. Aaron wouldn’t want him to lose one of those people. The new year came in and went, without much of a celebration, and Aaron was wondering if Robert would ever talk to him properly again. Something had to give.

When it did, it turned up in the form of Rebecca, knocking on their door.

“Someone’s put in an offer on Home Farm. Chrissie’s taking it," she said without preamble. "She doesn’t want to be around here with all the reminders, and she wants to leave now that dad’s… Well,” Rebecca finished. “We’re going to be leaving, I’m sure you won’t mind. But I thought you might want to say goodbye. To him.”

“Yes,” Robert said surely. “Can I…?” Robert held his arms out and Rebecca gave Seb over.

“I did honestly think he was yours,” Rebecca said. “I’m sorry.”

“Doesn’t really change anything, does it?” Robert said, holding Seb close to his chest, the last time he’d ever get to do so. That reality hit him like a ton of bricks. “Go to the café,” Robert said. “I’ll bring him by in… twenty minutes or so. Then I will be out of your life, okay?” Rebecca hesitated, then nodded, leaving the Mill.

Aaron watched as Robert took the baby over to the sofa, briefly grateful Liv was out. (Though doing God knows what with Gerry probably wasn’t a good sign.) He didn’t interrupt as Robert started talking to his son. Or not, as the case may be.

“Hey little man,” Robert whispered. “No, don’t cry, we get on so well you and me.” He rocked him gently. “I’m going to have to say goodbye to you. Which is about… oh, eighteen years sooner than I planned. So bear with me, okay?”

Robert paused, as if thinking what to say, running it through in his head. “You know what? I loved being your daddy. I really did. And do you know something else, if me and Aaron can make it work. I mean, it‘s a big if, but if we did? You missed out on a really great step dad. I’m sure he’d have been the fun one when you got a little older. He’d be the one winding your mother up.” Robert smiled at the thought of a memory that would never happen.

“I’m so sorry that you’re not going to be here for me to love a little longer.” Robert kissed the top of his head, and he didn’t want to let go of this precious bundle, who for so long seemed like the only good point in his life. Seb’s head was tucked under Robert’s chin, and he was perfectly content, a warm, innocent little boy who Robert now had to give up.

“Robert,” Aaron said after he’d been quiet for a good five minutes.

“I know,” Robert said. Nothing changed the fact he didn’t want to give Seb up. Just a little longer.

 


	11. On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short but necessary chapter. The last one should be up later today. Enjoy!

**On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a proper reunion.**

* * *

Robert became very quiet and withdrawn over the next few days. It was hardly surprising, but it hurt Aaron a little that he couldn’t get through whatever wall and mask Robert was putting up. Usually he never had that problem, he was usually the one person Robert did let in. Aaron didn’t blame him, losing Seb was always going to be difficult.

One morning Aaron woke up alone, the bed cold. He wondered if Robert had actually left, so it was slightly reassuring to find him in the kitchen, making breakfast. “I worried,” Aaron said. “Waking up alone.”

“It’s late, you slept in,” Robert said. “Liv’s not here.”

“Where is she?”

“You really think she’d tell me the truth?” Robert asked. Aaron tilted his head in agreement, letting that drop.

“How are you?” Aaron asked.

“A little better today,” Robert said, buttering the toast. “I’m sorry I’ve been so moody lately.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron said, meaning it. “I can’t really imagine what you’re going through, but I know it’s not easy.”

“No,” Robert said. “But I’m still sorry for being moody.” Aaron tilted his head up and kissed Robert gently. It was good to have him talking again.

“You can talk to me,” Aaron said. “Whatever it is, I don’t like you closing yourself down.”

“I know.” Robert kissed him again. “I just… I lose everything that matters. I’m a bit afraid that… if I really let myself get close to you again, rely on you, that…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron said. “I’m here, for as long as it takes.”

“I love you,” Robert said. “I really do, I’m scared of losing you. Losing you before broke me into pieces. Pieces that Seb sort of put a plaster over, gave me something to focus on. And now I don’t even have that. If I lost you…” Robert’s voice shook a little and Aaron stroked his arms gently, trying to soothe him.

“I’ve been thinking,” Aaron said. He pulled at the chain around his neck and revealed his own wedding ring. He took it off and pulled the ring loose. “I want to wear it again.” He put it in Robert’s palm, waiting for Robert to put it back in place.

“We’re not fixed,” Robert said, though every instinct he had was begging Aaron to put it back on.

“No, we're not. But I want to be. And I want everyone to know I’m yours.” Robert looked at the ring, the weight of it seeming to get heavier.

“Are you sure?”

“I thought you wanted this,” Aaron said, suddenly thinking he’d misread Robert’s intentions.

“I do,” Robert said. “More than anything. But… you’ve got to want it too.”

“If I didn’t want it, you wouldn’t be here,” Aaron said surely. Robert smiled, took his hand and slipped the ring back on his hand. Where it should always be. Aaron curled his fingers around Robert’s palm, feeling the significance of this more than he should do, more than he expected to. Robert kissed him, and suddenly neither of them could stop. God they had so much to work on, but right now, this is what mattered. Robert’s lips and hands were everywhere and Aaron felt himself being lifted onto the kitchen table, his T shirt being stripped from him. Well, they’d slept together on the sofa, why not the kitchen table too?

Robert was clearly getting some strength back, his hands, his body was so much more demanding and in control than last time. Both of them turned their heads as the door banged.

“Whoops! Missed the start of the show,” Gerry said with a cheeky grin.

“What?!” Robert scowled, getting his back up instantly.

“Calm down, you’re just not used to his sense of humour,” Aaron said quickly, arms tight around Robert. “What do you want?” Aaron asked, not moving an inch from Robert. He didn’t want to move, he wanted to finish what they’d started.

“Forgot my phone charger,” Gerry said. “Don’t mind me.” Aaron rolled his eyes as Gerry took his time finding the sodding charger. “People eat off that table, you know.” Gerry left and Robert sighed.

“Get out of our house,” Aaron snapped.

“Our house?” Robert questioned when they were alone.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I mean it when I say I want you here.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. “But what exactly is he still doing here?”

“He’s not that bad,” Aaron said. “He’s actually… he makes me laugh. It was good to have the company.”

“You picked up a stray did you?” Robert asked, this time his voice soft and understanding.

“Shut up,” Aaron said. “And kiss me.” And Robert did.

* * *

“Can we go now or what?!” Liv asked.

“Yep,” Gerry said happily. “Your brother seems to be making up with his ex.”

“What d’you mean?” Liv scowled. “Robert?”

“Yeah, walked in and they’re going at it on the kitchen table.”

“I should be horrified by that,” Liv said after a moment. But even so she couldn’t stop from smiling. She’d tear her own arm off before she’d admit it, but she’d missed Robert badly. 


	12. On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! This has taken a departure into pure happy fluffsville. I don't think anyone will mind. This is the most fun I've had playing with canon in absolutely AGES so thank you for all the feedback, comments and Kudos. Hope I haven't butchered the current state of the story too much. I hope you enjoy the last chapter!

**On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me my happy future.**

Chas looked at Aaron for a moment. She’d been about to call his name, but he’d nodded off. “No, don’t you dare wake him,” Robert said, smiling at his mother in law. “He’s doing all the three a.m. night feeds, just let him sleep.”

“I’m surprised he can sleep at all through all this,” Chas said, looking around the room. They were up at Wishing Well, a typical Dingle Christmas. Lisa, Zak, Belle, Matthew (Belle’s boyfriend suffering his first Dingle bash, looking like a deer caught in headlights), Charity, Sam, pregnant Lydia, all the kids, it was a free-for-all. And Aaron was asleep on the sofa, the baby in his arms doing exactly the same thing, ignoring it all.

“How’re you three doing?” Chas asked.

“Good,” Robert said. “I er… keep thinking I’m going to wake up from this because I’m just… so happy Chas. I can't tell you how right it all feels.”

“I’m glad,” she said. The hostilities between Robert and Chas had thawed out a long time ago. And then her first grandchild coming along had seriously helped too.

The baby started fidgeting and Robert could see her blue eyes as she started to fuss in Aaron‘s arms.

“Let me take her,” Robert said, pulling Annie from Aaron’s arms as he tried to wake up.

“Ann…”

“She’s fine,” Robert assured, kissing Aaron’s cheek. “Go to sleep.” Aaron didn’t take any more convincing for his head to loll on his shoulder, far away already. Robert beamed at the baby, cradling her and going back to Chas.

“I see so much of Aaron in her already,” Robert said quietly, looking at Annie. She was only three months old, but sometimes she really did look like Aaron. 

“She’s got the hair for it,” Chas agreed, her dark hair already looking like it might take after her fathers curls. “Do you ever mind it?” Chas asked as they sat down, Annie snuffling into Robert’s neck. “That she’s not yours? I mean after all the fuss with…”

“I know what you mean,” Robert said, cutting her off, not taking any offense to it. “And no, I really don’t. She is perfect, and I… I did have a few doubts, every now and then, before she was born and how I‘d feel. But I look at her and… she’s mine, and she’s perfect. And if she is anything like him, she’s going to give us hell as a teenager.”

“And I will be sitting, watching, and cackling like mad behind the bar when she does,” Chas said with a grin, making Robert roll his eyes. Robert _had_ wondered what it would be like, parenting a child he knew wasn’t his biologically. It hadn’t felt like “I can’t do this” but more “would it be the same?” Especially as their surrogate lived in Leeds and they didn’t see her too often. But once Annie had been born, it had been exactly the same. It really had. Robert was the first one to hold her, and she’d opened her eyes, and… she’d been his, instantly. He’d felt this surge of love for this little miniature Aaron, so wonderfully perfect. And when Aaron had held her, he fell even more in love with his husband, if that were even possible.

“Aaron wants more,” Robert said. “He wants a lot more kids than just the one.”

“Sleepless nights haven’t turned him off then?” Chas asked, the light in her eyes at the prospect of more grandchildren.

“Not yet,” Robert said. In the privacy of their own home, Aaron had said how much he loved this. The hectic nature of the Dingles, the way everyone cared about each other even when it was so screwed up. And that he wanted a big family, if he could get one. Robert had been hesitant at first over more than one kid. But now, Annie had fitted so beautifully into their lives. The fact that she was only three months old didn’t really seem to matter.

“Can I have a hold?”

“Yeah, you do that while I heat her formula up,” Robert said, Chas glowing at her granddaughter. Robert was sorting out her bottle when a knock on the door came. Cain, Moira and Isaac came in, Isaac almost throwing himself on grandma Lisa, who he adored.

“Grandma!”

“What did Santa bring you for Christmas my boy?!” Lisa asked with a broad grin. She was never happier than when she was surrounded by family. Three. That’s how old Seb would be now. Or how old he actually was, somewhere else in the country. Had he had a god Christmas? Was he happy? For all he knew Rebecca had married someone, had another kid. Seb could be a big brother by now. He saw Isaac in the village occasionally, but it never bothered him. Maybe this time it did, because it was Christmas, or maybe because he was a father again. Or for the first time, really. 

“Hey.” Robert turned to see Aaron, a bit bleary eyed from sleep, but looking at him steadily. He’d known what the problem was and needed to comfort his husband. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I…” Robert cleared his throat. “It just washed over me. I’m good.”

“Robert…”

“None of this means I love you or Annie any less,” Robert said surely. It still could be a touchy subject sometimes, but the fear that Aaron would leave him over it, well, that had long gone.

“I know, that’s not even a question,” Aaron said, a slight smile. “It’d be only natural you’d think of him.”

“Do you?” Robert asked.

“Sometimes,” Aaron said. “I think he’s missing out on… a great father. But I don’t think of him as often as you do, I’m guessing.”

“I thought I’d… it doesn’t matter.”

“Robert, it does matter,” Aaron said. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me about him.” Aaron ran his fingers through his hair and kissed him gently.

“Look, while you two are sickeningly all over each other, someone wants her dinner,” Chas said, the baby starting to cry. Aaron took her by instinct, but Robert wanted to feed her. He had a desperate need to hold a child that was his.

“Can I?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said gently. “Course.” Robert took her, and put the bottle in her mouth which she started sucking on, closing her eyes in blissful contentment.

“I love you,” Robert said, kissing him now that their daughter was occupied. Aaron smiled, kissed him again, then was pulled away by Cain, demanding a Christmas drink. Robert didn’t mind. He was with one of his favourite people. Annie opened her fist and wrapped it around Robert’s finger, staring at him with ultimate trust. And Robert smiled at her, feeling maybe, he finally had the life he wanted.


End file.
